What does one do when they feel so insecure that they push away those who love them the most? I have a bad habit of doing that and I'm afraid of hurt Stu.. I mean, I know.. well.. I have faith in knowing that he wouldn't just leave me over something so silly as that.. we've talked about it, so communication isn't that much of an issue.

It's just.. I see him and I think to myself.. "Why can I not be as good looking, witty, intelligent, and funny as him?" And that's a stupid notion because.. he is my boyfriend. I mean.. I shouldn't be comparing myself to him because he's essentially an extension of me, no? Not to be selfish but.. it's like.. "what flaws are mine are his and his flaws are mine.. and what strengths and what not as well".. and I just cannot get over the fact that I'm not alone anymore.

That I shouldn't feel alone.. because I have him. I just am afraid that we're so similar that he probably feels the same way.. that he's trying not to feel alone.. but we've just been so used to it..

And I doubt that I hurt him; knowing him he'd not take offense to something I did.. just as I wouldn't if it were him.. but.. *sigh* It scares me that I care so much about him.